When Your Eyes Are Open: Now What? (Horsemanship Edition)
Apr 19, 2026Mentioned at the end of this episode: I'm running a live class called When Your Eyes Are Open — 90 minutes, $55 USD, replay included. [Grab your spot here.]
You're Not Crazy. Your Eyes Are Just Open.
There comes a point on your horsemanship journey where you start to see things differently, but the people around you haven't had that shift yet. If you've found yourself wondering how to stay sane, stay true to yourself, and still advocate for your horse without being met with defensiveness or dismissal, this episode is for you.
Whether it's parents asking "when are you going to ride?", people at the barn who don't understand your approach, or vets and trainers who won't make room for your perspective, navigating these dynamics is something nearly every single one of my clients brings into our mentorship conversations. And I don't want to just leave it at "that's just the way it is, good luck." We can do better than that.
Why Does This Feel So Isolating?
As you grow on your horsemanship journey, or on any deeper personal journey, your sensitivity expands. You start noticing more. You start asking why instead of reaching for the traditional band-aid approach. You can see what's going on at the root of behaviours, and you can't unsee it.
This is beautiful. And it can also feel incredibly lonely.
The people around you aren't necessarily being dismissive on purpose. They're just viewing the same situation through a completely different lens. A horse pawing while tied up might mean "naughty, they need to learn patience" to one person and "they're clearly uncomfortable, how can I help?" to another. Neither person is lying. They're just at different awareness points on their journey.
And when you try to share what you're seeing, or suggest a different approach, you're often met with defensiveness, as if your observation is a personal attack. You're left thinking: we both want what's best for the horse. So why is this so hard?
What You're Probably Trying (And Why It's Not Working)
Most people in this position try one of a few things. They over-explain. They push harder. They get emotional because they care so deeply. Or they go completely quiet and try to keep the peace, except now your body won't let you stay quiet, because you feel too much. Your body is saying: this is uncomfortable, and I can't ignore it anymore.
One of the heaviest versions of this I see is people making themselves smaller just to get the support they need. Downplaying their research, minimising their experience, shrinking their voice, just so a vet, trainer, or barn mate will still work with them. And when that goes on long enough without anyone reflecting back "I see what you're seeing, you're not crazy," you start to wonder if maybe you are.
Just the experience of feeling validated on your journey, and knowing you are not crazy, is so freaking healing.
So What Do You Actually Do Instead?
This is where the deeper work comes in: the nervous system work, the energetic work, the communication frameworks that actually change outcomes.
Here's what I know to be true: how you show up matters more than the words you're saying.
You could have the perfect script. But if you walk into a conversation already believing they're not going to hear you, already bracing for dismissal, you are creating fertile ground for exactly that experience. The energy you bring into the room matters. The beliefs you hold about what's possible matter.
When you do the inner work first, when you get genuinely centred and clear, your message has a completely different quality. People can actually receive it. I've watched this happen again and again with clients. They dread a conversation, do the work on themselves, show up differently, and the outcome is nothing like what they feared.
It's Not Your Job to Wake Everyone Up
If you have a big heart and you care deeply about horses, it can feel like your responsibility to fix things now that your eyes are open. To convince people. To change the barn culture. To save every horse you encounter.
That's not your role.
Your role is to be who you are, show up in your truth, and trust the experiences life is offering you. You can absolutely create a ripple effect, but it doesn't have to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It gets to feel lighter than that.
It's so beautiful to have your eyes open. And it gets to be really beautiful when you allow yourself to live in a world with different awareness points and not let that be so crippling.
What We Cover in the Class
If this is resonating and you want to go deeper, I'm running a live class called When Your Eyes Are Open where we unpack all of this together. Here's what we'll cover:
- Why these dynamics are so challenging (and what's really going on beneath the surface)
- How to trust yourself and stay grounded when you're being questioned
- How to communicate clearly to reduce conflict and navigate it when it does arise
- How to support your horse and yourself in real-world environments
- How to show up in client and professional dynamics if you're a horse professional
It's 90 minutes, live, with a replay. $55 USD. It will also be added to Module 4 of The Field.
Whether you're a horse owner navigating friends and family, or a professional navigating client and colleague dynamics, come. I would love to have this conversation with you.
You've got this. You are not alone. And things get to be different.
